Into The New Year

As 2014 is four days away from gone forever, this post is not so much a refection on the past as it is a possible of the future that is based on the successes and failures of the past year.

Also, as I was doing my music research I have come across this boy. Still can't figure out if he's English or American but can't say it matters. He dope. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjZwHhiCMfo

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!

What now?

I went back yet again to L-B office, this time finally got to speak straight to the director. Same old story though: Sorry, we’ve no job to give you, same old reaction: I’m sure it’s a lie. We spoke a little and in the usual midst of ‘I love your passion’ and ‘Just keep following your dreams’ (what happens, btw, if my dream is to work at your company?) out it came: ‘I choose to work with people I grew up with’. F-ck me, is this an actual quality??? How can one ever learn and master THAT? Was this from the beginning a battle I would never have won? For what it’s worth though, it was a good fight – I look back and I know I could not have done more than I did. I have to repeat to myself that whether you win or lose is unimportant, what matters is did you fight hard enough. This time, I did, and of this loss, I’m [almost] proud.

OK, so I won’t now learn anything from L-B but I NEED to learn from somewhere. I am on a mission, haven’t you heard? Rap is a legitimate art medium (says I), too many people shy away from the idea of ‘art’ and it’s ridiculous – art is fun, and relatable and beautiful! (says I). I want to mix everything and everyone and achieve the elusive nirvana. This comes from an outsider in so many senses, I KNOW what I’m talking about when I’m talking about inclusiveness.

Oh and throw a party on top of it J

Thoughts keep looping around Rap-Art. Now that I’m on my own I kept sh-tting myself but I’ve assessed and admitted my weaknesses – such as I can’t go out at night and A&R the fresh talent – and I seem to be extremely pressed for time – single motherhood has its ups but good god!  So I’ve started to wake up at 6am now (instead of 7.30) and I’ve looked for someone who can help with the talent search. A poster/ flyer was designed so I could hand them out at gigs and colleges but then my sister said she knew someone who’d be happy to help. His name is Maye. We’ve met and he has the same sound tastes and preferences (my only requirement for the ‘job’) but after the initial high came the familiar low – it’s been two weeks and only one artist found. Well that’s no f-cking good. I would need eight artists by now to feel secure enough to go on with this. (By the way, is there anyone, ANYONE who actually does what he says he would do? Excuses are EVERYWHERE.)

So I felt like I had to start looking myself. Which is how I discovered STEEZ. Have you heard of STEEZ? Go ahead and have a look, don’t do it on your lunch break: you won’t come out of the STEEZ black hole until well into the night. What a goldmine! Listen to that music! So I guess my search starts here. I have already emailed Loyle Carner and got absolutely no reply. 

Paranoia that no one else will ever reply aside, gotta work harder, gotta look harder.

Oh and I’ll be going to STEEZ night in two weeks – on my own, to Lewisham. This will be my first all-nighter in years… and the first ever for work. By the way, how does one get home from Lewisham in the middle of the night?

In the meantime, I’m all inside YouTube. That is when I’m not writing the blog, or searching for visual artists, or being with my daughter.

Finally, here’s another situation assessment I have done: to build a brand I need time, and time is the privilege that I no longer have. If I am to go through with Rap-Art, I’m going to have to take out a loan. Who needs to train themselves to wake up at 6 when you are no longer able to sleep at all!?